Finding Out: What To Expect With A Prostate Biopsy
My Prostate Cancer Diagnosis – Episode Two
I arrived for my prostate biopsy feeling nervous as hell. I had Googled what to expect, but that hadn’t helped much. The idea of a probe going up my rear end and snipping tissue from my soft and tender prostate wasn’t exactly enthralling.
After a short wait, a very nice nurse led me into the procedure room. My stress levels immediately skyrocketed.
Right there, laid out on a tray, was an assortment of instruments that looked like they belonged in a medieval torture chamber.
The nurse, noticing my reaction, smiled teasingly and said, “Oh, don’t look at those!”
Don’t look at them? How could I not? That was like telling someone not to think about elephants.
Clearly, I looked pale and on the verge of vomiting, because she then asked, “Do you want Valium?”
“Valium?! Seriously? You’re only mentioning this now?! OF COURSE, I want Valium!”
She laughed and left to fetch the doctor.
A Generous Dose of ‘Relaxation’
A few minutes later, the doctor walked in. “So, I hear we’re giving you Valium?”
“YES. YES, WE ARE.”
After a super-sized dose, I quickly mellowed out—chatty, relaxed, and far less concerned about the instruments of doom on the table.
Then came the inevitable moment. I took a deep breath.
“Hop onto the table and lie on your side,” I was instructed.
That meant a fetal position. Wearing a medical gown inconveniently open at the rear, I did as I was told, reminding myself that dignity is an overrated concept.
What Actually Happens During a Prostate Biopsy?
A prostate biopsy is performed by inserting a small ultrasound probe into the rectum to get a live image of the prostate. This allows the doctor to guide a special needle that removes tiny tissue samples from different areas of the prostate.
They take 12 samples, covering the gland from left to right, top to bottom—like a grid system.
Common Questions Before a Prostate Biopsy
✔ Does it hurt? → You feel a quick pinch and a tug, but since I was mellowed out on Valium, it wasn’t as bad as I expected.
✔ How long does it take? → The whole thing was over in about five minutes.
✔ Will I feel anything after? → Some soreness and bleeding, but nothing extreme.
“Here’s number one,” the doctor said.
I felt a pinch and a tug. Ouch. Not exactly pleasant, but I could handle it… not that I had much choice.
“Number two.” Pinch. Tug. OK, this isn’t fun. I started counting them out.
Very quickly we were at sample six, downhill from here but I was starting to feel sore. The last two were probably the worst, but in less than five minutes, it was all over. Relief.
Bleeding, Worried, and Wanting Reassurance
As I hopped off the table, I was bleeding rather profusely and worried it wasn’t going to stop. The doctor assured me it would stop within 20 minutes, then left, saying:
“We’ll have results in a few days. I’ll see you a week from now.”
Before leaving, with a giant wad of tissues stuffed between my cheeks, I glanced at the ultrasound monitor and asked the nurse, “Do you see anything?”
She hesitated before saying, “There’s something in one area.”
I was frightened there might be more areas of concern—ones that wouldn’t have been detectable with just the “finger test.”
“Ok, I knew that already… so not so bad… maybe.”
At this point, all I could do was try not to think (or worry) about it—hah, fat chance.
As it turned out, I wouldn’t have to wait that long.
